Week 18&19: Stronger in Marriage

So, last week I was only able to do ballet class and Pilates. I had the Hubbard Street 2 workshop where we took ballet from terry, improvisation, and the HS2 dancers taught us small portions of two rep pieces. It was such an amazing day! Then we got to ask them about their experiences and such, which was very insightful.

The next day, Sunday, I was able to audition for Oklahoma City ballet, which was very scary since it was my first ballet audition and for a company! I noticed how tense and scared everyone else was, which helped me relax a lot – maybe way too much. 🙂 either way I had fun, but was eventually cut (much further along than I had thought!).

This past week has been great! Unfortunately, because my body felt a bit off I didn’t attend class on Monday; which was good because there was a snowstorm, practically! But for the remainder of the week, I took ballet, Pilates and contemporary. Thursday there was smoke at school so we had to evacuate the building. Contemporary was cancelled. But things are fine now, it was just a transformer.

This weekend has been quite special to me. I had the opportunity to come out to the suburbs to perform with Becky Mikos, a superb dancer and friend. I was so excited but I had heard horror stories about the suburbs. What I found was unexpected… I loved it. I felt so much stress melt away being here; in fact, it reminded me of home. Here are some pictures!!!!

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Two of those pictures were of willow creek, a contemporary styled Christian church where we performed for the Stronger series, our focus this weekend was: stronger in marriage. Tech and run-throughout went well. Performing three times: Saturday evening, as well as Sunday morning and late morning (9&10:45a)! It was such a beautiful cause, and we got much praise for it. A lot of couples crying, and coming up to us letting us know how we impacted them. It felt GOOD!!!

I’m not religious, but the great thing about willow creek is that it’s all inclusive! They don’t make you feel left out, and don’t judge. The sermons are more up to date and practical, by using passages of the bible and relating them to real life. The building is ginormous and beautiful. The stage was impressive. I was so lucky to have this experience.

Becky and I listened to the service after we performed the last time. I’m not religious.. At all.. But it was a powerful message. And I needed to blog this, to my ex:

Hearing the service, stronger in marriage, I feel that I never explained myself to you. Nor you to me. It puts me through so much pain to know we didn’t work out. Now that I’ve been in Chicago long enough, it has given me time to reflect on my life, especially those last few months when we shared a home with each other. Those were the best days I’ve had. I miss them, I miss you. I never stopped loving you and I still feel the same. But, I couldn’t ever go back because we weren’t fixable. I’m so sorry for everything. I was hurt by you when you lied and cheated. What you did, might not be considered cheating to you, but having a second life of intimacy of any sort with everyone but the person next to you in bed is cheating in my eyes.

I know I said I forgave you for everything but I never did. I probably should have. I was in so much pain, and all that time we were divided. We never ONCE came together and forgave each other. I put you through hell, taking away your liberties to appease myself, and that wasn’t right. I wish I would have acted differently, I wish I could have given you everything you wanted. Maybe I didn’t love you enough, or show you enough. Like said in church “you should ask those scary questions. And hear those scary answers.” I always asked those scary questions, but I was too afraid to LISTEN to your scary answers. I wish we would have communicated better. I wish we could have those moments back on the couch, eating biscuits, pizza, watching adventure time, and keeping Claudia (cat) away from the food. I wish you didn’t have to “work” on my graduation so you could’ve met my family. I wish we would have both been honest with ourselves and each other. I wish you could have talked to people through any means as though I was there; to avoid temptation. I wish we could have had decades and durability. I loved waking next to you each morning, and sleeping next to you each night. I loved hugging you tightly, even though you always complained about it being too hot. I loved waking you up dead into the night because we’d seen a scary movie and I thought there were aliens on our roof. I loved our runs followed by ice cream. I loved watching you dance. I loved being with you.

I see that we both had our own lives, as dancers. I chose to come to chicago and pursue dance – I gave everything I had up, even you, to be here. You did the same everyday I lived with you. I wish we would’ve known our time was limited. I wish I, or you, wouldn’t have gone for walks after arguments; we should’ve stayed and discussed it. I wish you would have moved with me. I wish I could’ve been there for you in your bad times, instead of holding what you did over your head. As much as we fought, you would’ve thought we put more emphasis on US. We didn’t take time for us. We didn’t forgive. We didn’t ask, listen or answer those scary questions truthfully.
Honestly, we didn’t try.

I think about you all the time now. I have nigtmares. I even have some suppressed memories – of us being happy – that come up more and more nowadays. It’s hard going through this. And knowing what I don’t have, and won’t ever have again, with you.

I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I’m sorry I didn’t give you what you needed or that I wasn’t what you wanted. I’m sorry we didn’t try.
I love you and will always love you. I hope you’re doing well, and that you’ve overcome all those obstacles you had in life. I hope you find someone who brings you those things that you need and want.

Love,

Ruben

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Step 5: Interviews, Rest and Recovery

Recently Mrs. Laura Perdew, an awesome communications specialist from CSUDH, had contacted me to ask me if she could write a story about my journey for the CSUDH timeline. I said “YES!!!!” and I am happy to report that I have just met with her today. She gave a fantastic interview, and I am very pleased to have met her. The story will come out very soon.

On other news, I have been terribly sick for the past weekend! I cannot believe how bad this cold has gotten.. It was so bad that I could not participate in ballet today 😥 I just need to rest and relax for a while, definitely before showing for Student Research Day at DH this Thursday.

I had a photo shoot with my great old pal/photographer from Nashville! I will be posting some of them ASAP when I get them! I thought they were pretty rad.

Still need lots of help with donations, so people out there, please help!!!!!

Celebrate Dance is nearing soon! Here is a rehearsal clip from Nickerson-Rossi Dance (which I am in! just click on the link to open up the video from facebook). Enjoy! 🙂

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=427499250664760

Goal: $5000 (this accumulates to the cost of attending one intensive)
Due: June 2013

If 100 people would donate $50 my goal would be successful (but any amount of donation is appreciated)

I can be reached at RMEDINA49@TOROMAIL.CSUDH.EDU
Also at my Facebook

Thank You for your time!

Sincerely,

Ruben

Step 4: Decisions,Rejections,&&Shows

I haven’t posted in a while since I have been terribly busy with school, dance, and life. Unfortunately, I was not chosen for the Ailey Summer Program, however it is not entirely bad since I wouldn’t have given up Hubbard Street for Ailey this summer. (They conflicted with each other- time-wise.) Other than the rejection, we have begun to rehearse for the show Celebrate Dance in Glendale, Ca with NRD. I also started reading “The Diary of a Young Girl” by Anne Frank, it is very inspiring and touching. I have also been to see two shows!

My best friend has bought me tickets to: the Joffrey Ballet’s show “Rite of Spring”, and to the Hamburg Ballet’s “Little Mermaid”. The Joffrey showed three works, all of which were stunning!!!! “Age of Innocence”, “In the Middle, Somewhat Elevated”, and the famous “Rite of Spring”. All very different from each other, but oh so beautiful!

The Hamburg had very amazing dancers, unfortunately it was not one of my favorites ever. In fact, I really did not like it too much. It was a combination of the music, and choreography (almost no ballet) that put me off. But I am very grateful for both shows. They both had a lot to give me. Very amazing dancers and talented choreographers.

I would like to announce that I also had my first $50 donation by my best friend, Marco Carreon! Thank you sooooo much!!!!!!

I believe I might enter the CSUDH Talent Show! It does interfere with classes, so I’ll try to arrange something with them, but I do believe they give out cash prizes. I’m doing it so that if I were to win, the prize could go towards my summer program fund! Let’s cross our fingers.

Anyways, here is the NRD promo for DNA. I show up after Matt’s solo: 1:23. I’m the dude with a lot of hair 😉

Goal: $5000 (this accumulates to the cost of attending one intensive)
Due: May 2013

If 100 people would donate $50 my goal would be successful (but any amount of donation is appreciated)

I can be reached at RMEDINA49@TOROMAIL.CSUDH.EDU
Also at my Facebook

Thank You for your time!

Sincerely,

Ruben

Step 3: Practice, Practice, Practice!

This past weekend, I went to the Alvin Ailey SI audition with my good friend DeDe. I can say that this was the BEST audition that I have had yet! I used all of the auditioning skills I learned from the previous auditions and applied them to this one.

I was nervous at first, since there were a TON of people there (I believe the numbers started around 50’s and ended around the 150’s? aka TONS OF PEOPLE!). Thankfully, I think I did amazingly! Whether I get in or not I am very proud of myself.

This was an awesome experience though, a full audition with ballet center and Horton techniques. The things I noticed: a couple which were very intimidating and good! They ballet ran together to the center for every phrase and held their hands in proper positions before they would begin.. They even dressed alike! How cool?!? There was this cool girl I had seen from the LINES audition, she was accepted to LINES, who blew me away YET AGAIN! I feel I did great in the entire audition except the darn petite allegro section.. its my kryptonite. The worst part was that it was an easy combination, just had to get my head together. Overall, this audition was not as bad as the Hubbard Street and LINES auditions.

Still, more training is needed.

I am glad to say that I am continuing my training at school: Pilates, Ballet III, Floor Barre, and a ballet class outside school. I am very excited to see my progress and cannot wait for whats to come: “Solo for Shoes” at ACDFA, and performing with NRD at Celebrate Dance and at the Marsee Theater in El Camino on my graduation day (B.s Physics).

Lots more to come!

Goal: $5000 (this accumulates to the cost of attending one intensive)
Due: May 2013

If 100 people would donate $50 my goal would be successful (but any amount of donation is appreciated)

I can be reached at RMEDINA49@TOROMAIL.CSUDH.EDU
Also at my Facebook

Thank You for your time!

Sincerely,

Ruben

Step 2a: Unexpected Surprises – Acceptance

HUBBARD STREET DANCE CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I got accepted! I am the happiest guy on Earth right now!

Just thought I’d let any of my readers know! 😉 I need the public’s support now more than ever!

Goal: $5000 (this accumulates to the cost of attending one intensive)
Due: May 2013

If 100 people would donate $50 my goal would be successful (but any amount of donation is appreciated)

I can be reached at RMEDINA49@TOROMAIL.CSUDH.EDU
Also at my Facebook

Thank You for your time!

Sincerely,

Ruben

Step 2: Wake Up Call – Auditions

First day of school!

Not sure if anyone actually reads these, but I thought it was time to update my blog…Since Christmas I have: taken ballet at several different studios, performed with Nickerson-Rossi Dance Company at the Annenberg Theater in Palm Springs, and attended two major auditions for summer intensives (LINES & Hubbard St.)

I guess you can that these auditions were a wake up call!  Note to self: More audition skills needed! I was so nervous I forgot all of my ballet at both of the auditions (basically, I had two left feet), but there is no need for excuses, I know I will do better next time for sure.  Unfortunately, I was not accepted into the LINES summer program, and I am waiting on the Hubbard Street results.

I have just started school again today, and I am very eager to continue my training.  I believe I will be attending a few more auditions, even if its just for the experience.  I know I have more to offer, if I am given the opportunity.  Positive thinking from now on, and tons more ballet and modern!

Enjoy a sample of my work: Tree of Life by Ruben Medina. My dance begins at 0:25:25!

Also me performing in other works: Schlemeil by Marco Carreon (@ 0:01:30) , and Silences We Bear by Chanada Turner (@ 1:13:38).


Goal: $5000 (this accumulates to the cost of attending one intensive)
Due: May 2013

If 100 people would donate $50 my goal would be successful (but any amount of donation is appreciated)

I can be reached at RMEDINA49@TOROMAIL.CSUDH.EDU
Also at my Facebook

Thank You for your time!

Sincerely,

Ruben

Step 1: the Art of Breathing

Merry Christmas!

The holidays are a time to spend with those we love, and miss those we are not with at the moment. I am very lucky to have the people in my life that I do. I have begun to set myself on a dance and personal growth journey. I want to become a better person.

I bought the book Deep Yoga to help me. my first lesson: the art of breathing. breathe in, breathe out. My affirmation: I will be successful. There are people out there who don’t want to see others succeed, but that is just fine, we will overcome. I know there are more people who believe in me than not, and for a reason.

I will spend the rest of my holiday break breathing, relaxing, and
jumping into as many puddles as I can.
I love life.

Goal: $5000 (this accumulates to the cost of attending one intensive)
Due: May 2013

–>;;;;;;;;;If 100 people would donate $50 my goal would be successful (but any amount of donation is appreciated)

I can be reached at RMEDINA49@TOROMAIL.CSUDH.EDU
Also at my Facebook

Thank You for your time!

Sincerely,

Ruben